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Dating an asian man

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It is never easy to tackle since everyone’s feelings and opinions regarding their own background as well as the backgrounds of others oftentimes vary greatly; however, your honest engagement and down-to-earth personality make all the difference.

Before I get to the heart of my response, perhaps I should preface it with a little information about myself.

I am a 32 year old Korean American man who was adopted from South Korea when I was nine months old.

My dad is of mixed European ancestry and self-identifies as White, and my mom is half Puerto Rican and half Italian and identifies as multi-racial (however, she acknowledges that she can oftentimes pass for White and as such does benefit from White privilege).

I grew up in a predominantly White area and was one of the only Asian American students for the entirety of my grammar and high school career.

During and after college, I have maintained a diverse group of friends and have had the good fortune to travel to various places in Asia including a two year stint in Korea and Taiwan, as well as less extensive periods in Hong Kong, Japan, and mainland China.

Moreover, I have dated both intra- and inter-racially (with Black women among others) and was most recently in a 3 year relationship with a Black American woman (who self-identified as such).

While my lack of Asian family ties/parentage may make me seem like a less-than-ideal candidate to respond to your initial question, I think that it is for that very reason that my insight may prove to be of value.

In short, the main thing that I wanted to say is that there is no reason for Black women to hesitate dating Asian men any more than they would anyone else.

While I can see some potential obstacles which could prove to be problematic such as issues of colorism, the desire to maintain cultural traditions by dating within one’s own ethnic group, etc., if we interrogate the underlying reasons for their existence, it becomes increasingly evident that none are necessarily specific to the Asian American community and should therefore in no way discourage Black American women from considering Asian men as potential partners.

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